Rather cloudy with showers.

Who Knows Where the Time Goes

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 01:18:09 GMT

A video I made using footage I had.

This is what my mind has looked like for over a year.

That's that.

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:56:43 GMT

Russian 316: A
Linguistics 301: B+
Linguistics 444: A
Linguistics 494: B

I'm fine with all of that except for the B+ in LING 301. I wish it were at least an A-... Oh well. It all amounts to a 3.6, which is okay.

I'm still feeling really disappointed about the McNair rejection. Boy, if only they could see my unremarkable grades from this term! That'd show them.

A double life

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 21:56:10 GMT

Recently I was explaining the premise of Hannah Montana to someone, because she didn't know what it was about. She looked very thoughtful, and said seriously, "It would be really tough to be a kid and have to live this double life."

It was really interesting and unexpected.

Sometimes my thoughts about life come through as statements. I think, "This is the way the world is. You have ideas, and you don't know whether or not they are good ideas but you just have to go for them, because that is all there is."

Other times the thoughts are questions. "Is this the way the world is? You have ideas, and you don't know whether or not they are good ideas but you just have to go for them, because that is all there is?"

I feel that I am a hack in so many ways. I pretend to write songs, I pretend to learn Russian, I pretend to think critically.

Other people really write songs. They really learn and they really think. They can make a living off their thoughts.

I wonder what is possible. I wonder what my life will be like in 10 years. I wonder in how many ways I will have settled for less because more was just a fool's hope.

I often think of Dollhouse, when Dr Saunders tells Victor, "You can't be your best. Your best is past. Your past you can't even remember. You're ugly now. You're disgusting. All you can hope for now is pity."

I wonder if there's a way to feel better. Or a way to be better.

I don't like it.

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 19:10:53 GMT

Here is a list of some things I dislike. I will explain myself where I care to, and occasionally I will offer a preferable alternative to the disliked thing.

1. The word "arbitrary" (and its derivatives). Ironically, I don't really know why I hate this word so much. The only time it doesn't bother me is when it is used to mean "despotic"... so it almost always bothers me.

2. "The Star-Spangled Banner". I hate this song with a fiery passion. Ugh. Before you (if there is a "you" out there) call me un-American, let me say that I really love "America the Beautiful". I hate "The Star-Spangled Banner" mostly for the same reason many people love it: the war imagery in the lyrics. Also, most Americans could probably not tell you what most of the words mean. Also, it is set to the tune of a British drinking song. "America the Beautiful" was written entirely by Americans and discusses the country's natural beauty. America is beautiful. I like that message!

I am not alone in my wish to replace "The Star-Spangled Banner" with "America the Beautiful" as the national anthem. From Wikipedia: "Proponents [of the movement] prefer 'America the Beautiful' for various reasons, saying it is easier to sing, more melodic, and more adaptable to new orchestrations while still remaining as easily recognizable as 'The Star-Spangled Banner'."

Oh, and I am sick of hearing singers do that thing on the word "free" where they go up an octave.

3. Jerky. As a vegetarian, it's not surprising that jerky disgusts me. But I actually find it even more appalling than a lot of other meat products, mostly because it is a meat snack. Meat on the go. In the past month or so I have seen four or five people eating jerky on the bus. I have seen maybe one person eating anything else. Jerky is apparently the preferred snack of bus-riders. Food isn't even allowed on the bus, so this is further evidence that jerky is some horrible non-food that people insist on consuming.

4. "Realize" by Colbie Caillat. This is definitely one of the worst songs I have ever heard. But that's a long list, and this song is just a recent addition. It won't be #1 in the long run, I'm sure, but right now it's up there.

5. The smell of ketchup. Also, ketchup in large amounts. I do like ketchup, but to smell it but not eat it is a nauseating sensation, and to see it in large amounts (especially when it isn't completely contained) is horrifying.

I've gotten some negativity out. Here are a few random things that make me happy:

1. Calendars.

2. Mittens.

3. Coat racks and umbrella stands.

4. Fountains.

5. Ten-dollar bills. (It's the prettiest bill!)

Win a break! (Winter break.)

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:26:39 GMT

I have taken three finals and I have one more tomorrow morning. Then I will be done.

Grades:
Russian 316 - A (this is the only one that has been posted so far)
Linguistics 301 - I expect I'll get an A.
Linguistics 444 - Hmm. Could be an A, could be a B. Could be an A-, could be a B+. Certainly no lower than a B.
Linguistics 495 - More hmm. Definitely not higher than a B. Hopefully no lower than a B-.

I've always gotten A+s (agh, I hate trying to pluralize grades) in Russian, but I guess this teacher doesn't give them out or something... Haha, that doesn't make me sound at all conceited.

LING 444 was fairly maddening from the start, but it became even more so in the past week or so. Why, you (don't) ask? I will tell you why, and I may tell some official person as well.

Our final was scheduled for today, Thursday, December 10th, from 3:15 - 5:15 p.m. On Monday, November 30th, the instructor told us that he had decided to make it a take-home final because, as he hesitantly put it, "I might have to go to Korea for a job interview..." (He's Korean.) He said that this take-home final would be due Friday, December 11th, by 5:00 p.m. On December 2nd, he wrote us an e-mail saying that it would now be due Thursday, December 10th, by 5:00 p.m. On December 3rd, he wrote again, changing the deadline to Wednesday, December 9th, by 5:00 p.m.

Since I have three other finals, none of which are of the take-home variety, I thought Friday sounded great. Thursday was okay, too, since I had expected to have a final that day anyway. Wednesday, though, was inconvenient and frustrating, because I had finals both late Tuesday afternoon and late Wednesday morning. I got the take-home final done, but I wasn't able to do it as well as I could have, had it been due Thursday.

Anyway. Some things I want to make sure to do during the break:

1. Work.
2. Read.
3. Finish knitting that nice scarf I started knitting last winter. Then knit other things.
4. Study Russian.
5. Eat at Keystone. (I've only eaten there once, and I'm always wanting to go again but never seem to swing it.)
6. Finish some songs.

I hope all is well with you, whoever you may be.

Cuddlefish

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:12:18 GMT

One of my new songs!

My Life According to Regina Spektor

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 01:48:18 GMT

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 (or more) people you like, include me. You can't, however, use the band that I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)".

Pick Your Artist
Regina Spektor

Male or Female?:
Poor Little Rich Boy

How Do You Feel?:
Blue Lips

Describe Where You Currently Live:
Small Town Moon

If You Could Go Anywhere, Where Would You Go?:
Another Town

Favorite Form of Transportation?:
Chemo Limo

Your Best Friend is:
Mermaid

You and Your Best Friends Are:
Kids

What's the Weather Like?:
Raindrops

Favorite Time of Day?:
That Time

If Your Life Was a TV Show, It Would Be Called:
Down the Road & Up the Hill

What is Life to You?:
Music Box

Your Last Relationship:
Dust to Dust

Your Fear:
The Noise

What is the Best Advice You Have to Give?:
Be Like a Cloud

Thought For the Day:
Love, You’re a Whore

How I Would Like to Die:
Laughing With

My Soul's Present Condition:
Aching to Pupate

My Most Faithful Companion:
Two Birds

My Motto:
BYOS (Bring Your Own Shovel)

Resurrection, or Why We Need the Rain

Fri, 15 May 2009 23:12:20 GMT

"There was no wind; a soft warm rain had begun falling in the morning, and hung in drops on leaves, twigs, and grass. Besides the smell of the fresh vegetation, the smell of damp earth, asking for more rain, entered in at the window."
-Leo Tolstoy, Resurrection

Brake! Ready, set, goals.

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 14:14:01 GMT

1. Clean room.
2. Keep doing various exercise things (riding bike, stretching, yoga, push-ups, crunches, jumping rope, stretching, stretching).
3. Finish writing one of these stupid freaking songs.
4. Practice music.
5. Read some things from the pile.
6. Watch some movies from the pile.
7. Study Russian.

That's probably enough.

Hit and Run

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 07:39:17 GMT

Fall

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 07:36:38 GMT

The latest song... a couple little mistakes but I think it's still listen-able.

Comments on the video's page on YouTube are loverly. :)

Fog

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:31:22 GMT

Last night, walking home

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 23:15:45 GMT

I keep going away from the many songs I'm actually working on to quickly whip out other songs... This one isn't fantastic but I figured I may as well post it.

Soon to come, though, is a song that I'm really excited about and think will be really great.

I could be wrong

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 00:50:34 GMT

How It Ended

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 04:57:58 GMT

To date I have 12 completed songs...
Then there are at least 12 more that I'm working on. At least.
But I'm only really working actively on 2 or 3 of those.

Anyway, enjoy.

Blood Cider

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 20:26:49 GMT

I cut my thumb again today, but in a different place and it bled much more. I was cutting an apple at the cider-making table by the amphitheater. I definitely avoided spreading my numerous bloodborne pathogens (tuberculosis, Hepatitis B and C, etc.) this time though, because there was no beet juice to complicate matters.

It seriously bled a lot, and for a very long time. I felt guilty, because it wasn't a big deal at all but it looked like it was. Oh, it was also really strange because I was sucking on it for a little bit and I was really aware of the cycle of blood leaving my body and immediately reentering orally. Kind of like a fountain.

Which makes me picture some kind of crazy movie scene where someone would have had a breakdown, and they are found all bloody and wild-eyed, and one character would say, "Oh, my God! What happened? Get help, somebody!" and the bloody character would say in a faraway voice, "I wanted to be like a fountain..."

Aaaanyway. C'est tout.

Beets, Cabbage, and Blood

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 23:50:54 GMT

I just made more borsch. But this time there may have been the added ingredient of human blood. I'm not sure? At some point I evidently cut my thumb (and thumbnail) -- not badly, but I'm guessing I bled. It was probably around the time in my beet-cutting when I thought to myself about how it looked like my hands were covered in blood. (Don't worry, if there was blood it wouldn't have been that much.) Anyway. Rambling...

I put all the borsch in containers and put the containers in either the fridge or the freezer. Now I'm making spirally pasta for tonight's dinner. (I'm letting the borsch do its own thing till tomorrow.) On the spirally pasta I will put this hearty artichoke tomato sauce that comes from a very different-looking jar.

In other, inedible news, I just got back a box containing the rest of my old journals... Reading over them was making me uncomfortable and I had to stop.

On the bright side, I got some more CDs back. And my Gavroche vest.

Song for Losers

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 23:42:50 GMT

Photo? Shoot!

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 01:20:57 GMT

Many an amazing photo was taken today through the collective efforts of Becca and Angelica. Beyond the cut you will find my press photos.

(Photo by Angelica)

(Photo by Angelica)

(Photo by Becca)

(Photo by Becca)

(Photo by Becca)

(Photo by Becca)

(Photo by Becca)

Bonus photos soon to come...

Voilà!

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 12:03:53 GMT

The very fine artwork was done by Angelica! Woo hoo! Doesn't it make you want to buy at least five copies?

In the Studio

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 17:03:19 GMT

The 1926 Steinway grand piano I got to play was so amazing... This is me trying it out and warming up.

If you're interested in buying the CD, go to the entry before this one and click on one of those PayPal buttons, or talk to me if you live close.

Tricky to See

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 20:37:56 GMT

NEWS!!

Tricky to See, my first EP, will soon be available! It will feature studio-quality recordings of the songs "Immunodeficiency," "I am not a stranger here," "Try to Try Again," "Atrophy," "Song for Losers" (as yet unheard), and "The Penny Song". The CD labels and sleeves will be made from 100% recycled fibers.

Pre-order your copy now! CDs will most likely be shipped sometime next week.

Buy 1 copy for $6...

...or 2 copies for $10!

Note: If you live near me, you should just contact me and then you won't have to pay shipping.

Guts

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 23:50:02 GMT

10, and 21

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 07:23:59 GMT

I made a list of ten graduate schools where I could pursue a Master's in Slavic Languages and Literature. The list takes into consideration the presence of the program, climate, and in many cases whether or not it is rated as a good cycling city and where it ranks on a list of healthiest cities to live in. Cleveland is the exception to all of those standards except the program one.

I'm putting stars next to the ones that I think could possibly accept me.

1. Case Western University - Cleveland, OH
2. University of Toronto - Toronto, Ontario
3. UCLA - Los Angeles, CA
4. University of Southern California - Los Angeles, CA
5. Georgetown University - Washington D.C.
6. University of Chicago - Chicago, IL
*7. University of Arizona - Tucson, AZ
8. Boston College - Boston, MA
*9. University of Denver - Denver, CO
*10. University of Oregon - Eugene, OR

You will notice that I don't think I could actually get into most of these schools. But I wouldn't even be applying for over a year, assuming life indeed takes me in that direction, so I figured I might as well keep it on the long side for now.

Another option could be going to culinary school and becoming a pastry chef. Or doing that thing where you teach English a third-world country, like France. Or holding orphan babies in Russia (possibly but not necessarily with the intent of stealing them).

PS Today I am 21 years old. :-/

Meme?

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 02:55:53 GMT

I have until now abstained from such activities as this, not wanting to corrupt my LiveJournal... but I'm giving in.

Step 1: Put your iPod [or whatever] on random.
Step 2: Post the 1st line from the first 31 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song (lol). And it doesn't have to be perfect if you can't understand the lyrics word for word(n00b). If the title line is the first line, take the next one.
Step 3: Let everyone guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Bold the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING! (cheaterzdie)

1. No lack of alibis... your knack for the spectacular is still intact.
2. Nellie, I want you to meet Ngana and Jerome.
3. Sometimes we feel like we got nothing to say anymore.
4. Je sème les souvenirs que j'aime... toute seule ou en tandem...
5. Y en a 1 de trop... C'est pas toi, c'est l'autre.
6. Before the phone hits the receiver, you're halfway to the door. (Running Man by Al Stewart - Angelica)
7. Your timing's really strange...
8. I don't know what it is that makes me love you so. (I Only Wanna Be With You by Dusty Springfield - Angelica)
9. Threw some chords together, the combination D-E-F.
10. My mother, she told me to stay away from boys...
11. They say there was a fire on the night I died... (On the Other Side by Janis Ian - Angelica)
12. I must go on standing... (Après Moi by Regina Spektor - Angelica)
13. J'veux pas finir mes jours à Tombouctou...
14. You're such a wonder that I think I'll stay in bed...
15. Riding through the city on my bike all day 'cause the filth took away my license...
16. There's not a morning that I open up my eyes... (With Every Breath I Take from City of Angels - Angelica)
17. Don't try to patch it up. Tear it up! Tear it up! (I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair from South Pacific - Angelica)
18. Sometimes I wonder where I've been...
19. Hide me in your hollows, taste the salt that clings to me...
20. Wrote you this, I hope you got it safe.
21. The count has an eye on his ankle... (Scream and Run Away by The Magnetic Fields - Angelica)
22. To look at me, you may not think that I'm a femme fatale. (Don't Ever Call Your Sweetheart By His Name by Christine Lavin - Angelica)
23. Pourquoi tu m'appelles un chat alors que j' m'appelle un chat?
24. We speak in the store, I'm a sensitive bore... (Peach Plum Pair by Joanna Newsom - Angelica)
25. It's late, I think I'm gonna stay...
26. You wanted to buy me for a hundred euro...
27. No one waits for her inside the house, she spots a stranger in the mirror... (8th Floor by Regina Spektor - Allison)
28. To all the boys and girls outside, you know I didn't cry...
29. My friend the communist holds meetings in his RV...
30. Most of the better bred woolen toys have gone to bed... (Samuel, Oh How You've Changed by Al Stewart - Angelica)
31. Would you like to learn to sing? Would you like to sing my song?